Purple People Apparel: Favre Leg Lamp is a Real Thing

I’m not trying to sound all cool for you college kids that read this, but as you get older you sit back and say to yourself, “Man, I’ve seen some really messed up shit in my lifetime.” Like there was that time the stripper had a seizure while giving a lap dance to a friend, or the time we almost died in a car accident but managed to come to a stop without spilled any of the precious weed, or that other time when you walked into your aunts house and saw the Brett Favre Leg Lamp adorning her living room (didn’t actually happen, but holy shit, imagine if you saw this at your aunt’s house):

http://purplejesus.files.wordpress.com/2012/03/favre-leg-lamp.jpg

This beautiful 45-inch full size leg lamp has the authentic look of the hall-of-fame Brett Favre. This leg lamp has a sleek attractive curve and design right down to his rib side insert pants. It also show cases a custom painted lamp shade, and one black athletic shoe. This homemade lamp is sure to be the center piece of any front room window at Blu Dot. The lampshade does light up, this “Fragile” item will not be shipped in a large wooden crate:-)

Please! The item is fragile! No flash photography is allowed! Only cell phone pictures, please!

Obviously, the Favre Leg Lamp is the one item I’ve seen in my life that has left the greatest scar on my psyche, but is subsequently loved by Brick Tamland. But is it really any worse than WHAT ELSE may be out there?

  • Purple Jesus ligaments from when his knee was shredded found in your linguine
  • Naufahu Tahi’s face skinned and used as sun protection on a recent trip to Hawaii
  • The dried remains of Brad Childress’ dome-hair used as a cleat cleaner at a local golf pro shop
  • A stuffed replica of Shanko-dong at the Minnesota Science Museum in their exhibits about Mississippi River monsters
  • The remains of Jared Allen’s mullet stuffed down the speedo of a fat, hairless Italian to feel more “natural”
  • EJ Henderson’s rotting femur fed to the Direwolves to keep them at bay, before WINTER IS COMING
  • A book which collects Deep Thoughts from white linebacker Chad Greenway, but all the pictures are from the Keanu Reeves “Bill & Ted” meme
  • A tightly compacted Antoine Winfield foot stool, made from real pieces of Antoine Winfield

Suffice it to say, maybe a Favre Leg Lamp isn’t the WORST thing that could be out there. And frankly, the leg is kind of sexy … Like Angelina Jolie flashing some thigh at the Oscars. Except this one is probably hairier, smells worse, and has a penis attached to it. Always a down side.

If you are SUPER interested and do need this Favre Leg Lamp to round out your Vikings memorabilia collection, you can check more details of it at the link here. And may god have mercy on your soul, and smite you for bringing Favre back in 2010 and ruining this franchise. No, he will never be forgiven.

PJD

About PJD

I once saw Paul Edinger kick a 56-yard field goal for the Minnesota Vikings against the Green Bay Packers to win a game in the Metrodome. It was exhilarating.

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