I was browsing through this article over at Daily Norseman, trying to find something to write about for you nerds, when I finished (on your mom’s face!) and left the posting feeling rather miffed. The article explains – through another at ESPN South’s blog – that YOUR Minnesota Vikings are best in the league in retaining their draft picks since 2008.
You read that right: The Minnesota Vikings are the best team in the league at drafting players and keeping the on their team. The only problem? Our players suck.
Maybe this is one of those stats that would fall under the category of “not worth following,” like assisted tackles, pancakes, or tackles that Chad Greenway makes, but personally, it doesn’t seem like something I would brag about. Think about it. You’re being told that since the 2008 NFL Draft, the Minnesota Vikings have selected 28 players to play for them, and now heading into the 2012 draft, 23 of those players remain on the team. You think, “Hey! That’s pretty good! We can really build through the draft, just like the Packers!” The problem with this is that the Vikings draft players who play like seagulls in heat.
Look at this 2008 draft:
Tyrell Johnson, S, Arkansas State
Terrible. Absolutely terrible. I don’t want a single player from this draft on my team. I GUESS John Sullivan is a good center, but come on … There’s another advanced stat that’s trying to blow wind over your cock tip. From this draft, we still have two of the five guys on the team. While the retention increases, in the following years, the talent sure doesn’t:
Percy Harvin, WR, Florida
Chris Cook, CB, Virginia
Christian Ponder, QB, Florida State
Look that list over for me real quick … Go ahead …. Got it? ….. OK, now give me the list of players from 2008 to 2011 that you would actually want on a team, if you could start with a blank slate. Percy Harvin? ….. Is that it? Honestly, is that it? I mean, I would MAYBE take Everson Griffen for potential, D’Imperio for being a guido, Joe Webb for a quarterback controversy, and Jasper Brinkley because just MAYBE, but that’s it. I wouldn’t want anyone from 2011. Ponder? He’s sexy as shit shirtless, I’ll give him that, but we could have had Andy Dalton. The rest are garbage, and that’s why this team went 3-13 last year.
This isn’t to say that Free Agency is where it’s at. It’s not. That’ll screw your team faster than a Twins baseball season screws dreams. What it DOES say is that Rick Spielman is quite possibly the worst excuse for a GM in the history of sports, and that includes the Kansas City Royals and San Diego Chargers for long stretches of time. We’re entering that phase, people. This is how important the 2012 draft is. The cupboards have been left pretty bare, talent wise in relation to the rest of the competing teams in the NFL, and now we have to play catch up. Unfortunately, it WILL have to be through the draft, and unfortunately again, we have Spielman making draft decisions.
Conclusion? Being first isn’t always best. Sometimes it means you better start Preparing your anus. Because folks, it’s going to be a rough five years climbing our way back to relevancy.