The new Vikings stadium has been in the news a lot recently, largely because the guy who's fronting about 2% of the bill for it, the multi-millionaire team owner Zygi Wilf, is apparently a liar, cheat, and swindler. At least he's not a dirt burglar! Although, then Adrian Peterson and him would probably be homeys. No, the stadium has had questions about its financing from numerous sources, none of it being good news.
But that all changed when I came across an article last week looking at ideas for new Vikings Concession Stands. I thought, "Could it be true? Could we actually have real news about the Vikings stadium? Is the Forty One Donut a real thing?"
Of course it isn't, and thank god for that, otherwise someone would be getting shivved.
No, what we found was a nicely written, tongue in cheek article from MNHAHA about possible Vikings Concession Stands. Possible timeless food stands include:
Brett Favre’s Sausage Stand – There are definitely some delicious offerings at this gourmet sausage stand. The presentation is exceptional. In fact, you’ll want to text pictures of these wieners to all of your friends.
Onterrio Smith’s Lemonade Stand – At this stand, you can have a glass of lemonade and reminisce about the Whizzenator affair in 2005. This place serves up a pure and chemical-free product. Enjoy it ice cold or at body temperature. If you’re hesitant to try warm lemonade, just ask for a “sample” size.
Vikings Trophy Room – Some weeks the product here is tough to swallow. Other weeks, you’ll leave with a nice taste in your mouth. Regardless, rest assured that there is always plenty of room in the Vikings Trophy Room.
Well … That last one is just real, effing cold, isn't it.
Check out all of the suggestions over there, but we thought we'd join in on the fun today, the Wednesday before the bye week, and offer a couple of more Stadium Concession and Food ideas for the franchise to consider.
The Okra Patch: Perfect for the vegetarian attending the game, The Okra Patch offers all kinds of vegetation to munch. Ask for their dressing on the side, otherwise the meal can get a bit wet.
Little Big Leg of Turkey: Reminds you a bit of the State Fair? Well, this turkey leg will be good (smelling) from 50 yards away, every time. Definitely the right choice to get you thought a meal in a pinch.
Camarillo's Taco Stand: Because Greg Camarillo was once a Vikings player, and if he's not going to mow your lawn, he can at least make you a taco.
Bitter Home Brew: A beer stand, offering the best of the local beers that may have gotten away from you. The taste is slow to start, develops into something wonderful one your palate, but then leaves a bitter taste in your mouth as you see it being enjoyed by another fan. Probably one from Seattle. Gross.
Cold White Bread and Water: The perfect food stand, specially requested by the team to reflect their coach's mental make up. The idea food choice if you hate yourself and are bored to death.
The Minnesota Scramble: From Tarkenton to Culpepper, Webb to Ponder, it seems like all our quarterbacks can do is scramble. In some cases, that's too bad. In others, it makes for a great breakfast food item!
The Hash Emporium: Try a little pork hash, man, or maybe some bacon hash with potatoes. Frankly, I've got the munchies so bad I'd eat anything from John David Booty's favorite establishment.
Did we miss any? List them in the comments, and start saving your money for these great concessions!