Chris Kluwe has a book coming out on June 23 of this year titled "Beautifully Unique Sparkleponies: On Mythos, Morons, Free Speech, Football, and Assorted Absurdities."
Boy, the guy has to be pretty full of himself to name his own book with such a long title AND include alliteration!
But the cover for said book was released by Mr. Kluwe himself last week, and of course it looks ravishing. I mean, come on! The pony, the air, the shit eating grin, THE BRAGGING PROMINENCE OF THE STRAIGHT MARRIAGE WEDDING RING! Just kidding. But it looks kind of funny, and the book could be interesting, and of course, if anyone wanted to send me an advance copy to review, I'd totally do that, too. Just throwing that out there.
I guess while we're highlighting Kluwe today, we may also go ahead and talk about how the Minnesota Vikings are showing stomach churning signs that they may be getting rid of this peace monger in the near future. If not this year, than definitely next. Kluwe is on the last year of his contract, where he is still due $1.45 Million if he is on the roster after the regular season starts. He's also 31 years old, which makes him essentially ANCIENT as far as football players go, and boy, maybe the management team of the Vikings is getting tired of Kluwe's colorful antics, antics which make the team so much more interesting to follow. Maybe instead, they'd rather have good old boys and blank slates and boring canvases, and holy God, this team is becoming so boring.
Also, the Vikings worked out a punter this offseason, a guy from LSU called Brad Wing. Not a terrible name for a punter, if we had to get a new one, but the problem of course is that he would potentially be replacing the immortal Chris Kluwe. And why "try out" a punter if you're not just going to Ryan Longwell Kluwe this offseason? I know the team is going for a youth movement, but come on … The punter? He barely does anything. I think we have much higher concerns than getting younger at the punter position, guys.
Anyway, whether or not Kluwe is cut before this season begins or walks at the end of next season, I am learning to appreciate every moment I have with him as a Viking, like he's already in NFL fan hospice care or something. If that's not a real thing, I should probably copy write that. But regardless of what happens, buy his book, read it, then send me a copy with dick pictures in the margin. Everyone wins!