adrian peterson christmas tree

How to Properly Dress Your Vikings Christmas Tree

If last week's game against the Ravens didn't alert you to it, yes, the holidays are right around the corner. When you see every single football game along the east coast blanketed in snow, it's probably also a good time to begin (or finish?) shopping for Christmas presents, decorating your house in the ejaculation of sparkle and tinsel, and of course decorate your Christmas tree (or Menorah? Is that what Brandon Fusco does? Fusco has to be a Jewish name, right?) in the best of Vikings regalia.

Well, really in the ONLY Vikings regalia around: Purple Jesus at his rightful spot at the top of your Christmas tree.

Found from Reddit bro "hostesscakeboi" (that's an unfortunate name) comes this excellent example of what Christmas is SUPPOSE to be about. As marketing efforts have increased, and consumerism has cripple this country, our nation has moved further and further away from the true meaning of Christmas. Kids today think Christmas is all about tearing open gifts and crying if you don't get that new $500 techy device you asked for, in addition to the other two dozen items that were unrealistic, and forget what the true meaning of Christmas is.

That Purple Jesus died for our football sins.

A true Christian family will sit around the Christmas tree before they enjoy each other's company, and read the classic Christmas story of how a young babe wrapped in turf named Adrian Peterson was birthed in a Perkin's parking lot in rural Minnesota, only to lead his followers on a path of glory for many years before racist east coast oppressors decided to try and kill him. BUT PURPLE JESUS CANNOT DIE! He only came back stronger, and will continue to lead his purple followers to the promised land, as the fabled book of Tarkenton foretells.

And so how do we honor him? With iPoods and X-Stations? Horrible. No, we put him in the center of our living space, at the top of the tree, so he can always look down on us and forgive us for our football sins of wishing for team losses for draft picks. If we show repentance, he will forgive us.

And THAT, friends, is the true meaning of Christmas.

PJD

About PJD

I once saw Paul Edinger kick a 56-yard field goal for the Minnesota Vikings against the Green Bay Packers to win a game in the Metrodome. It was exhilarating.

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