aaron rodgers murder mustache meme

I KNEW IT!! Aaron Rodgers is a Murderer

And I don't mean a "Killer of Vikings fans hopes and dreams" or anything like that, I mean a real life, shooty-shooty, stabby-stabby (not like THAT kind of stabbing though … I don't think), kill kill kill, kind of murderer. 

At least according to Jeremy Schaap and ESPN.

ESPN said – ON AIR – in a recent interview, that Aaron Rodgers was likely tied to the murder of Odin Lloyd, another friend of former New England Patriot Aaron Hernandez. This is shocking news, of course, as Aaron Rodgers is often seen as a bright eyed, good old boy from California that leads Wisconsin's team with an unblemished background. He's a model player for the NFL marketing machine, with a wonderfully flamboyant smile, self deprecating humor, and talent to boot. 

UNTIL HE STARTED MURDERING PEOPLE. 

Of course, this is a huge revelation. As Vikings fans, sure, we always suspected that something was up with Rodgers. I mean, no one has this kind of a career without selling some of their soul to the devil, or hiding some twisted and decaying bones in their closet. Frankly, I always thought Aaron Rodgers was hiding bones somewhere else, but if he needs to have them come out of the closet too, I get it. I do, man, just let it out. Let your Dexter side show. Let the Bob Benson secrets out. Let's get crazy and take the NFL on a train of weird for the 2013 season. A playoff push AND a murder mystery??! This is some amazing viral marketing on the NFL's behalf!

Regardless, I'm not sure how any Packer fan can now live with themselves. Think of all those fat Wisconsinites who burned their Favre jersey after they learned he was a pill addict, dick pic-ing, turn coat, only to buy a wholesome Aaron Rodgers jersey. Now they find out he's a human life tacking sausage sucker (assuming that last part, of course). Will they still wear his jersey? Will they support a MURDERER??! If they do, do NOT let them hear the end of it. The sins of Packer fans can not go unnoticed. 

*Of course Aaron Rodgers didn't kill anyone. It was a funny mix up, you pussies. Settle down.

PJD

About PJD

I once saw Paul Edinger kick a 56-yard field goal for the Minnesota Vikings against the Green Bay Packers to win a game in the Metrodome. It was exhilarating.

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