It's Vikings vs. Bears week! That storied time of the NFL season where two behemoths of the NFC North face off in a no-holds barred football action that is certain to draw the attention of the country, as the implications of this game have resounding effects throughout the league, shape franchise destiny, and can propel a team to the Super oh nevermind.
OK, so this weekend's Vikings and Bears match up probably isn't that interesting. With Smoking Jay Cutler still expected to be out with an engorged hymen, and Christian Ponder still expected to play because the Vikings franchise is filled with idiots, this game isn't really expected to be a fantastical show of football prowess. However, since both defenses suck horse ass, there is a good chance it will be rather entertaining in the level of idiocy involved by all parties. So be on the look out for that.
Because of this, it is still important that during this Vikings and Bears week, we take the opportunity to make fun of Chicago Bears fans, and in general, people from Chicago. Remember, it's the important things like this that build tradition during the holiday season.
First, here's a video of a drunken Bears fan getting into a footrace, for some idiot reason, outside of a bar. The race ends SMASHINGLY, as you can imagine:
Next, we make fun of Chicago in general by checking in with Jon Stewart and his The Daily Show rant from a few weeks back where he (rightfully) takes Chicago pizza to task for essentially being bread bowl tomato soup. What's wrong with you people?
Finally, even though he's not playing, we'd be remiss if we didn't include this SWEET ASS Jay Cutler high school highlight mix tape, which also includes a couple of amaze-balls slam dunks from his glory hole days of high school basketball player. How moist do you think Cavallari's panties get when she watches this hot, teenage action?
Of course, not to be outdone, let's not forget how awful life is as a Vikings fan. With Cutler out this weekend, we get to face Josh McCown. Remember him? Mr. McCown? Use to play for the Arizona Cardinals? I'm looking forward to more of this on Sunday. Happy Thanksgiving!