It's week three of the Minnesota Vikings uniform unveiling charade (apparently), and we have a collection of additional clues for you to look and at try to piece together what it all means.
Today, the Vikings have released previews of their new uniform. Actually, it was done in pieces. Like they cut someone's body up that was wearing them and then submitted photos like a serial killer maniac to the cops. But that's what the kids respond to these days apparently, so who's to blame them? Regardless, we're only able to catch glimpses of the new belt buckle area (seen above), the gloves, and the ever important STRIPING!
Details after the jump:
There are the gloves. No one cares about gloves. Have you ever bought a pair of officially licensed NFL team gloves? HAVE YOU?! If so you should be ashamed. Real football players don't wear gloves. Real football players tape their fingers up (sometimes two of them together at once!) and run around with their fingers exposed in the cold. That shit is way cooler than GLOVES. NERDS. Let's move on to important stuff.
STRIPES! If their is, objectively, one item that will absolutely MAKE or BREAK a sports team's uniform, it is stripes. Think back to your favorite Vikings uniform designs. They all had an abundance of stripes, didn't they? The classic early 2000's uniforms with the sleeve stripes, and the away uniforms with the OVER THE SHOULDER stripes were money. Even classic 1960's and 1970's era. Stripes everywhere! Even better if they were on the socks too. It's what makes a uniform. It's the classic kind of business dress for a football player, like a tailored suit is for a man. Get your dress game correct, yo.
And so we see more stripes here. I'm cautiously optimistic that I'll like these more than the current circus uniforms, and there's a main reason for that. Stripes should never be employed in a "modern" way. Stripes are stripes. They go up and down uniformly, or horizontal in the same way. It's not that hard. Even toddlers can do stripes correctly. The circus uniforms? NOT DONE CORRECTLY. They taper, mimicking a horn in a way, and end up losing the uniformity of the basic color divisions that is a stripe. They are amazingly dumb in theory, and even worse in execution. If this snap shot of a strip is any indication, hopefully we'll be rid of those clown stripes forever and get back to a clean, classic look.
In the meantime, the mocked up design below based on most of the clues we've seen so far is starting to look better and better, is it not? Here's hoping.