What in the Absolute Hell
What in the hell was that all about?
Seriously. With 2:05 left in the game, Joe Flacco through a pass to Dennis Pitta (which kind of sounds like a derogatory name, doesn't it?), and the Ravens went up by 3. I mean, knowing how the game had gone thus far, what the conditions were like, the fact that Adrian Peterson's career looked dead (again), and knowing we had our coaching staff being our coaching staff, things didn't look that great. I mean, best case scenario was getting into Blair Walsh field goal range and taking a shot at over time, right? Well.
In about 40 seconds, Cassel hit Jerome Simpson for 40 yards, and then Toby Gerhart (of all people) ran another 40 for a go-ahead touchdown. WHAT?! AWESOME! Or it would have been, if Blair Walsh didn't kick it to Jacoby Jones, who ran the kick back for 77 yards for a touchdown in 11 seconds. Well, shit. So, maybe with 1:16 left we could AGAIN try to get into Walsh Range? OR! We could through a short screen pass to Cordarrelle Patterson who could then HOUSE it for ANOTHER go-ahead touchdown, and what the hell, is no one playing defense anymore? That only took 30 seconds, leaving 45 seconds total, and, I mean, Baltimore was done, right? Well, they would have been, if that crap pass interference call wasn't made, and if Sendejo's interception was ruled true, and if the Vikings defense would have stopped playing Cover-2 for once and not let a game winning touchdown pass to happen with 4 seconds left. Good lord.
Of course, when the Ravens kicked the ball off next, with 4 seconds left, there was a SECOND where I was sure Asiata had broke through the first rush and that he was going to score too, and I was going to shit my pants. That didn't happen though, the Vikings lost in the most entertaining way possible, and that probably ended up being the best case scenario, really.
Fun Sunday though. Pretttty, prettttty fun.
Mushroom Stamp of Disapproval
I hate to be that guy, but f*ck these refs from this game. They essentially gave the Ravens 7 points when they didn't over-turn the early Gerhart fumble, which clearly wasn't a fumble, and then allowed numerous other poor calls to go through. It was garbage. Total garbage. And because of those actions, the Vikings lost the game. I made a joke early in the game on Twitter about how the refs must have heard from the Ginger Pubes at the NFL head offices that the Vikings had been screwing up their own hope at a high draft pick, and the league had to step in to help. If that's the case (because it sure as hell looked like that), then thank you very much. I appreciate the assistance, and clearly it was needed since the Ravens are shit heels too, but still, make it less obvious next time. Assholes.
But let's cut the shit. In our never-ending quest of turning over stones to find a franchise quarterback, the Vikings did get a little but closer to that goal. Frankly, for people happy to see the Vikings lose to get a higher draft pick in 2014, this was a banner week of NFL football for you. In our game preview Friday, we had already noted that the Jaguars had won on Thursday night, going to 4-9 on the year while the Texans (whom they beat) dropped to 2-11. In other great news, on Sunday, the Bucs also won, beating the Bills, and having both teams go to 4-9 on the year. The Bucs are on like a three game winning streak or something, and should end up with like 6 wins, right? The Jaguars will be required watching, but the only teams worse than us now are the Texans, Redskins (who pass their pick to the Rams?) and the Falcons. I'm largely OK with that, because one of those teams (the Falcons), will not be drafting a quarterback with Matt Ryan on the roster. If the Rams stick around, I've seen a lot of chatter from them that it's a MUST they draft an offensive weapon instead of a quarterback. The Texans probably would, even though they have Matt Schaub (who is like the Southern Christian Ponder, right?), and Case Keenum, who is kind of a funny joke at quarterback, but can't be the answer, right? So they may steal our quarterback. But they also may go defense with their draft, so who knows. They have Indy and Denver for their next two games, but face the Titans in Week 17, so there is a possibility they could get to 3 wins. I think that's still good enough to beat us out, but maybe something crazy happens next week or something and we have our wet dreams fulfilled.
Things will get interesting for sure, but I just can't overstate how important this loss was in maintaining options here. Very exciting stuff.
Nipples and Notes
Other ridiculous game notes from an outrageous game:
– So, Adrian Peterson is maybe dead? The injury didn't even look that bad, and we've all heard by now that it's likely a mid-foot sprain of some kind. Clearly, we should just shut him down for the rest of the season and call it a year. But since no one cares about 2013, I'm just worried that the injury is something more serious (it sure looked worse by his face melting off while writhing on the ground), so if we find out he just goes to IR for the year and comes back in two months fine, I'll be ecstatic with that.
– I don't know when it became "cool" for people to talk bad about snow games in the NFL, but that I saw a lot of that on Sunday, and it made me furious. "I want to see teams play to the top of their ability, with no defense, and stupid points scored!" You people make me sick. Snow football is like finding a skilled virgin. Denying such gifts is bullshit, and makes you a horrible person, so just shut up.
– Cordarrelle Patterson ended up with 5 receptions for 141 yards and a TD, easily his best game as a rookie. He had just an outstanding hands catch too early in the game, and I think it's safe to say that if he played with a real quarterback on the regular, he'd be pretty awesome. He may still be pretty awesome, if we don't F this draft up.
– And really, ALL of those first round rookies are looking better and better. Sharrif Floyd showed some nice activity blowing up their offensive line, and Xavier Rhodes has been playing real nice the past few weeks. He had three pass deflections today, which is phenomenal. Three first round draft picks that could all pan out? Boner time!
– Brandon Fusco got injured and went out for the game. I learned at that same time that everyone apparently thinks he's our team's best offensive linemen? That can't be good news, right? Christ.
– Jerome Simpson loves his weed, and is a weird ass cowboy, and isn't really THAT good, but damn if I don't love that psycho son of a bitch.
– Andrew Sendejo and Marcus Sherels both recorded their first career interceptions. Both of them now have more interceptions in their careers than Chris Cook has in his, so, let's burn everything to the ground.
– Audie Cole had a bad match up with Ray Rice today, and I think was the guy who got burned on the final touchdown by the Ravens, but – again – he led the team in total tackles with 13. And yet the coaches still think we need to play our best middle linebacker on special teams. I hate us.
That's Vikings Haikus
OH NO! A fight's out!
I'm bout to plow your, lights out!
Move bitch, out the way!
Hey, it was a fun game. I wouldn't have even been mad if we would have won that, it was so exciting. But as is, the best possible out come occurred. We were HIGHLY entertained, and the Vikings still maintained draft slots. Perfect. On to the next.