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Report: Vikings Now Kicking Star Players in Stomach

Vikings kicking Adrian Peterson

In what has been a busy week for the Minnesota Vikings, one noteworthy item has more or less slid unnoticed under the table. This item is a hard one to discuss, but Purple Jesus Diaries holds steadfast to our journalistic integrity and understand we must report this to you.

And so today, we are prepared to share that our inside sources have indicated the Minnesota Vikings have resorted to physical violence when dealing with their star players this offseason. Namely, they've recently been known to physically assault their star running back and face of the franchise, Adrian Peterson, by repeatedly kicking him in the stomach.

Most shocking? This isn't the first time.

Purple Jesus Diaries has learned through trusted sources that the NFL franchise, Minnesota Vikings, has a long history of assaulting their star players. It apparently started during the 2011 off-season, after the NFL lockout, when the team allowed blossoming star wide receiver, and great friend to running back Adrian Peterson, walk into free agency. Rice ended up signing with the Seattle Seahawks on a free agent contract, dealing a devastating blow to the Vikings' running back, one so hurtful it was felt deep in his gut. Certainly, this was an act of violence, one that left lasting scars on Adrian Peterson. Clearly, he was devastated:

But the assaults didn't stop then. Throughout Peterson's career, he has been subjugated to horrifying beatings that would kill most mortal men. The following list only scrapes the surface of some of the physical and mental injustice he's had to fight through:

  • Surviving being coached by Brad Childress for four years
  • Having to smile and call Naufahu Tahi a teammate
  • Standing idly by as talented teammates like Sidney Rice and Percy Harvin were allowed to walk or were traded
  • Being asked to play in meaningless games during a 3-13 season in which he almost suffered a career ending injury
  • Forced into sharing a backfield with Donovan McNabb and Toby Gerhart
  • Running plays to the left side of the field where his primary blocker is supposed to be Charlie Johnson

Any other football player, or human for that matter, having to live through these affronts would crumble into a life altering depression. But somehow, Peterson has prevailed. He has picked himself up time and time again and put on a smile, pretending that nothing is wrong, that he fell down on the treadmill, that the wounds the public sees are his own fault, not the mark of a monster.

Percy Harvin and Adrian Peterson

But no more. With this latest affront, where the team kicked Peterson in the stomach – several times! – while simultaneously trading Percy Harvin to the Seattle Seahawks, is the last straw. To have the community stand by and not do anything to help Peterson is a crime itself.

So I propose we save this gentle giant, this gift from God, and help him escape. Maybe to another team where he can play with coaches and players that smile, care, hug, and respect your body. Maybe back to Heaven where he belongs, sitting at the right hand of God. Either way, this man has taken too much abuse in his life, and we ask … No, DEMAND … that he be let free from his domestic bonds and escape the abuse of the team.

FOR ADRIAN PETERSON!

PJD

About PJD

I once saw Paul Edinger kick a 56-yard field goal for the Minnesota Vikings against the Green Bay Packers to win a game in the Metrodome. It was exhilarating.

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