In what is sure to be a ground breaking and historic move, for both the NFL and all of America, comic book legend and famed super hero, Steve Rogers, aka, Captain America, has signed with the Minnesota Vikings as a quarterback.
On the cusp of his new movie – Captain America: The Winter Soldier – hitting theaters this Friday, Captain America’s publicity team nudged Rogers to make this move official. The hope is that Rogers’ presence in middle-America, where home grown Americans are born and bread, and his location will be centralized to the entire country, will help bolster ticket sales to the film this weekend.
And, it may just mean the Vikings have found their starting quarterback for 2014.
Rogers brings everything the Vikings need in the quarterback position to the team. He has an amazingly strong arm (can throw a football 300 yards in the air, flat footed, about eight times further than Christian Ponder has ever thrown the ball), is astoundingly mobile in the pocket, brings super speed to the field, and is as strong as 75 Big Blue Oxen, capable of carrying 11 defenders on his back without dropping to a knee. On top of all of this, Rogers was a recipient of the “Super Soldier Serum”, a substance that has slowed his aging process significantly, meaning, there’s no telling when he’ll be forced to retire due to old age. Possibly never! And, best of all, this substance was never considered to be real, meaning the NFL has never banned it. Score one for the Vikings!
Steve Rogers also brings something to the Vikings that the team has been missing ever since Brett Favre left; veteran leadership. Born in 1941, Rogers has seen almost anything NFL defenses – and a World War – could throw at him, without ever backing down. That type of experience simply cannot be taught in the NFL, and we all remember how successful the Vikings were when they had a guy with that experience at the helm most recently.
Naturally, Vikings fans are ecstatic. A quarterback of Rogers’ caliber means Christian Ponder will likely be relegated to “Tarvaris Jackson Back-Up Super Bowl” duty, while it also means the team may no longer need to spend a high draft pick in 2014′s draft on a young quarterback. Instead, with Adrian Peterson in his prime, an updated defense being coached under Mike Zimmer’s watchful eye, and a new stadium on a horizon, the NFL in Minnesota is certainly on the rise.
And now, time for some Captain America in action!
Unfortunately, this is all just an APRIL FOOL’S JOKE and I totally got you! HAHA! YOU THOUGHT WE REALLY SIGNED A COMIC BOOK HERO! NAILED IT! Have a great April Fool’s Day everyone, and try not to get fooled anymore! LOL!