Welcome to the SECOND GREATEST HOLIDAY DURING THE YEAR!
Wait, what? Second greatest holiday? Well of course. Right after the first official Minnesota Vikings game of the year, a game in which they win, naturally. If they play the first game of the year and they lose, then I guess 4th of July is probably the best holiday of the year.
But whatever. As is, enjoy this holiday. Know that Purple Jesus Diaries is thinking of you, the greatest fans in America, on America’s holiday. Just like America, we’ve come here to kick ass and build stadiums, and we’re already building a stadium.
So let’s get blasted on some cheap Rocky Mountain beer, wear flag pants, and get sun burned. Should be a fun day. Just remember, after this, it’s only like 9 more Sundays until football, so make these non-football days a blur. A drunken blur! And football will be back sooner than you know.