We were all pretty excited when Captain Munnerlyn decided to sign with the Vikings. A scrappy, lowly drafted, under-sized cornerback with a penchant for interceptions and play making? COOL! Also, his name is awesome! Who wouldn’t want to cheer for a guy named “Captain”, who we’ve affectionately nicknamed “Captain Cumback“? We’re all pretty excited.
But for others, seeing Captain Munnerlyn leave the sweet confines of North Carolina is apparently bittersweet. Or at least it was until Captain decided to drop a million dollars in a strip club. Allegedly.
This report comes courtesy of mediatakeout.com, which I’m SURE is a trustworthy media source. They claim that an “NFL baller goes crazy … Tricks off one million dollars at the skrip club just minutes after signing a $15 million deal.” First, I don’t know what “tricking off” actually means. It sounds like someone is doing more than just “spending money” at a gentleman’s club, but maybe “playing” with something at a gentleman’s club, as well. On top of that, I’m not sure if “skrip club” is some kind of typo, or some kind of amazing variation on the traditional strip club set up that I’ve yet to experience. What else have I been missing out on in my life?!
Regardless, let’s pretend this whole crazy scenario is real. How bad do you feel for some of those ladies in Charlotte? They are losing a trusted patron in the area who apparently has no problem dropping a cool million in the club. Munnerlyn has probably put some of their kids through private school at this point. On the flip side, there are going to be some ladies in the Minneapolis area over the next three years who are all of a sudden going to be driving some pretty nice cars. I think we can all guess what happened there.
And if we REALLY want to look on the bright side, those ladies in Charlotte may be losing a weekly patron, but you can bet your ass during the early fall months they’ll be going on a “business trip” to Lake Minnetonka. How lucky for them! World travelers!
Anyway, you know where to keep your eye out now if you ever want to see Captain Munnerlyn in the wild; Sniffer’s Row at The Seville. Save me a seat!