linval joseph vikings

Point / Counterpoint: Linval Joseph Got Shot in the Leg

In a frightening piece of news released early Saturday morning after the Minnesota Vikings had won their first preseason game of the 2014 season, it was announced Vikings defensive tackle Linval Joseph was shot in the calf following an incident outside a nightclub Friday night. Joseph has been identified as an innocent bystander in the altercation, which took place outside the 400 SoundBar in downtown Minneapolis Friday night. Despite Joseph suffering only a minor injury during the shooting, the question is still raised with such a close call; should NFL players enjoy themselves at all during the season? We investigate in another edition of POINT / COUNTERPOINT:

anonymous vikings fan

POINT: FOOTBALL PLAYERS SHOULD NEVER HAVE FUN

This news concerning what happened with Linval Joseph is extremely troubling. Think about how close he was to being seriously injured! A stray bullet flew outside of a nightclub Friday night and only grazed his calf. Joseph should be back to football activities by the end of the week, and likely will start with no problems come the start of the season. On the surface, this seems like everything is fine; no harm no foul, right?

Well no, it’s not alright! There were nine people who were shot at the nightclub Friday night. Nine people! Joseph was one of those. First, we have to think of all those other people, and remember them in our thoughts. It is a terrible thing for someone to just start shooting like that. Second, we have to keep in mind that this occurred at 1:40 AM. Why is anyone out that late, anyway, let alone up at all? You should be sleeping, and thinking ONLY about playing football. How will you practice tomorrow? What cleats will you wear? Are you hydrated enough? Sometimes, I don’t think these NFL football players take their job seriously enough.

And listen … Thank God everyone is OK, alright? I mean that, seriously. Things could have been so much worse. How? Well … Selfishly? … What would have happened to the team if Joseph died? I mean, don’t get me wrong, it’d be really sad as a person to person thing, but … As a Vikings fan, we need him! He may be our defensive answer to the missing Pat Williams! Are we just supposed to have Fred Evans step right back in?? Chase Baker? It’s a terrifying thought. I mean, terrifying because someone almost died, not because of the team, but if the team didn’t have him, I mean … You know what I mean.

In the future, I hope the only fun the Vikings players have is during the games. When the games are over, I hope they just go home and are as boring as Leslie Frazier. Maybe we should hire him back.

viktor the viking raiders 2014

COUNTERPOINT: F*CK YOU YOU F*CKING NERD LET’S PARTY

HOLY SHIT YOU LITTLE COCK PRICK GET OVER YOURSELF, YOU THINK HALF THESE GUYS DON’T PLAY THE GAME F*CKED OUT OF THEIR INTESTINES ANYWAY? YOU THINK HALF OF THEM ARE EVEN HAVING FUN PLAYING THE GAME, LET ALONG WHEN THEY ARE DROWNING THEIR SORROWS THROUGH A 3-13 SEASON AT A NIGHTCLUB WHERE PEOPLE ARE SHOOTING EACH OTHER LIKE THE GAZA STRIP WHILE THEIR SAUSAGE FINGERS ARE TWIRLING THE SOFT LABIA PETALS OF A STRIPPER CROTCH? YOU TELL ME WHAT SOUNDS LIKE MORE FUN; GETTING BEAT BY THE CATHETER BAG CLEVELAND BROWNS AT HOME OR KNUCKLE BLASTING A HEROIN ADDICT WITH DADDY ISSUES? HAVE YOU EVEN SEEN A BREAST BEFORE YOU F*CKING NERD? A SINGLE BREAST, THAT’S ALL I’M ASKING. NO, SO SHUT THE SHIT UP, DADDY VIKTOR NEEDS TO NOSE DIVE IN YOUR MOMMY’S MONTHLY DISCHARGE.

PJD

About PJD

I once saw Paul Edinger kick a 56-yard field goal for the Minnesota Vikings against the Green Bay Packers to win a game in the Metrodome. It was exhilarating.

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