Mercifully, thankfully, the Minnesota Vikings hired a new coach Wednesday, and actually made it official almost at the same time, as they announced that former Cincinnati Bengals defensive coordinator, Mike Zimmer, agreed to coach the Vikings. The team did a release of a teaser video for the fans, a short interview with Mike Wobschall from Vikings.com, and certainly got the bandwagon rolling on the hype machine. BUT BACK OFF NERDS, THE ZIM-STER AND PJD ARE DRIVING THIS SPORTS CAR, AND WE AIN’T STOPPING FOR BABIES!
But really. We have a coach, and already some moves have been made. What are they, are they good, and where do we go from here? *wicka wicka wicka* REEEEEECAAAAPPPP!!!
What We Do Know
Mike Zimmer became the ninth head coach in Vikings history. Since the team’s inception in 1961, going full years and heading into our … What, 51st or 52nd year? … That means the Vikings have had a new coach every 5.6 years, approximately. So, this means Zimmer will work his way through the TCF Bank Vikings era no problem, and will usher in the new stadium. He may even get so lucky to get a Bud Grant run, or Dennis Green span of coaching. OR! He could go the slim years of Les Frazier and Les Steckel. NO MORE LES’ES, OK??! Either way, Zimmer should be around for a while.
Zimmer also brings a pretty impressive track record of defensive coaching and performance with him to the Vikings. One of his first coaching gigs was back with the Dallas Cowboys in 1994 as an assistant under Barry Switzer, that old son of a bitch. He then coached defensive backs, and eventually defensive coordinator in 2000. While there, he survived several Cowboys coaching changes (Switzer to Gaily to Campo to Parcells) indicating he may be a zombie of some sort, and implemented successfully several different defensive styles for different coaches, from the 3-4 to the 4-3 to probably some crazy 10-1. Since 2008, Zimmer has been with the Bengals and has turned in the following defensive performances with that team:
What Happens Now?
We already know several things have happened:
- Fans everywhere pretty much universally approve the hire, even though concerns about why Zimmer has been skipped over before and whether or not he can actually manage all aspects of a team or not are unanswered.
- We know Mike Singletary is going to be on his way out, after spending the last three years with the Vikings doing … Something. This probably won’t be a big loss.
- Zimmer will have to find new assistant coaches, probably all of them, even though the rumor is that Rick Spielman is pushing to retain alleged bigot Mike Priefer for special teams. Will Zimmer do so? I doubt it. I’d clean house, with napalm.
- So who will be the coordinators? Early sources indicate the defensive minded Zimmer will hire a big name to handle offensive duties, understanding his own limitations, and working with someone who will cover those. Names floated around so far include Norv Turner (Eh), Mike Mularkey (Ew), and even Kyle Shanahan (Oh). We’ll see if any of those names pan out.
- Zimmer was allegedly considering trying to poach Bengals linebackers’ coach Paul Guenther as the new Vikings defensive coordinator, but that didn’t work out when the Bengals promoted him to their OWN defensive coordinator, and blocked that from happening for the Vikings. Or something. So it’s back to the drawing board. Please no Alan Williams.
- We also know Zimmer has come with high recommendations from big shot Big Tuna Bill Parcells, who apparently was speaking frequently with Zimmer over the last couple of days. The Wilfs have always been obvious big fans of Parcells, so his opinion matters to them, and his opinion is that Zimmer is a BAWS.
All in all, I’d say it’s a pretty successful day for Vikings fans. Everyone seems to be pleased with Zimmer, he seems like he’s got the pedigree and mentality to get our wiener players under control. So we’ll see how it plans out. What do you think?