stolen metrodome section sign

Saying Farewell to the Metrodome

Metrodome RIP

Last Sunday was, mercifully, the last Minnesota Vikings game to be played in the Metrodome. Despite what local media people will tell you, the last 31 years there haven't all been instances of glory and amazing. In fact, I remember a lot of eye rolling, epic collapses, and real shitty season at that place, many more recently than prior. So don't fall into the "I Will Remember You" montage crap you've been subjected to, shit wasn't THAT amazing.

Even so, does that justify Vikings fans acting like total morons at the end of the last game on Sunday? Of course not, but people are stupid, and so here is what stupid people did in a stupid moment last Sunday:

The most exciting thing for people to do after the game on Sunday was to apparently steal a bunch of shit from the Metrodome, to take home as souvenirs, I guess, although I'm curious what any of these items will ever be used for. They maybe even left mementos, or took lasting pictures, because BOY!, I want to remember that stadium as much as I want to remember the final Vikings season played in it. So here's some examples of what people did.

Metrodome Stolen Cup

There were tons of tweets about how as the Vikings and Lions came ended on Sunday, people were looking for ANYTHING they could strip from the Dome and bring with them. The most frequently referenced item people were pillaging were the cup holders form the Metrodome chairs. Really. I guess out of everything possible to grab, this makes plenty of sense, as it must be easy to kick off, but what in the absolute hell are you ever going to do with this? Add it to your recliner? Duct tape it to your Adirondack chair? Cuddle your memento that's covered in years of vomit, spilled beer, and fat guy piss? BOY, I COULDN'T LEAVE WITHOUT THAT! Great pick, guys.

Stolen Metrodome Chairs

But what it the cup holders just aren't ENOUGH, you know? What if you need something more? Like, oh I don't know, maybe the back of the SUPER COMFORTABLE chairs at the Metrodome? Many other fans apparently busted those off and brought them home with them. Again, for what reason? You didn't even take the seat with you. You literally have a plastic sheet now, that I guess has a number in it. OK, I get it, maybe these people had season tickets during the entire Metrodome life span, and they wanted to take their "seats" with them. But you didn't take the seat, moron, you took a plastic backing that you will now do nothing with. Again, a horrible idea.

But wait, that's not all! We have a picture here of a kid who stole the section sign where his season tickets were at. While slightly more functional than the obtuse and unusable cup holders and chair backs, it still seems odd. Like, are you planning on disinfecting that sign before you bring it into your house? Can you imagine how much it smells like Dome Dogs and Iowa ladies having bathroom sex? Gross. There has to be so much dust, and dirt, and semen, and stale beer, and peanuts, and broken dreams stuck to the tacky stuff that was holding it up on the back. That's got to be THRILLING to bring that home.

Call me old fashioned, call me a prude, but stealing shit from a place that wasn't really all that great to begin with, to a place that basically did nothing for you but take your money (and lots of it), just doesn't make a lot of sense. Seems pointless, worthless, and/or more trouble than it was even worth. But congrats to everyone who stole something, because now you can always remember how devastating you were when we missed wide right! What a memory to hold on to!

PJD

About PJD

I once saw Paul Edinger kick a 56-yard field goal for the Minnesota Vikings against the Green Bay Packers to win a game in the Metrodome. It was exhilarating.

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