You'd never be able to tell by looking outside and feeling the weather, but the calendar says it's March outside, so I guess it is. When March rolls around, you don't typically think of Timberwolves basketball, either. I mean, maybe you're thinking "Oh, March Madness, that's a thing I get." But Timberwolves basketball? In March? That would have to mean they are playing games of significance. I mean … They're not really, but let's pretend that having a near-.500 record at the beginning of March doesn't just mean it's the second best season they've ever had, because that's depressing.
But anyway. It got me thinking here, what if the Timberwolves players were actually Vikings players? What positions would they play, and would they be any good? Maybe! Let's check it out.
KEVIN LOVE: Love would clearly have to be the quarterback on the team. Not only can he obviously throw the ball further than Christian Ponder currently, but Love is also the best player on his own team. The best player on the team should be the quarterback, so it's an obvious call. Would he be good at quarterback? Probably the best QB the Vikings have had since Warren Moon.
RICKY RUBIO: With Rubio's assists proficiency, you'd think he'd be the best quarterback for the team, but not when you got Love taking that spot. With that option not available, Rubio would probably fit in well as a slot cornerback or return guy. His defense would work wonders breaking up an Aaron Rodgers' slant pass, and he's probably shifty enough to return kick offs if needed. PERFECT.
COREY BREWER: Brewer would be pretty similar to Rubio on a football team, but could maybe play one of the outside cornerback spots. He's tall and lanky enough to flail around and maybe be disruptive enough to get lucky and get a pass deflection. In that regard, he's kind of like Chris Cook, and we all know how that turned out.
KEVIN MARTIN: Did you know Kevin Martin is listed as 6'6"? That's pretty tall. He also seems like he would be best suited to play wide receiver, maybe because of his height, but maybe because he always draws fouls, fights through contact, and is seen as an offensive guy, and thusly bad at defense. So, no CB spot, and I assume if he can score a lot of point on the basketball court he could catch a lot of touchdowns. Duh.
NIKOLA PEKOVIC: Biggest dude on the team? Defensive tackle. Obviously. Like Fat Pat reincarnate, if Pat Williams was actually dead. I don't think he is, but he may as well be when he left my life. But could you imagine lining up across from Pekovic if you were some wiener center? Good luck, you're now dead.
CHASE BUDINGER: Budinger reminds me a lot of Martin, but white and not as good, really. So I guess he'd be an Eric Decker, Wes Welker type of bro at receiver, yes? Makes perfect sense.
ROBBIE HUMMEL: A bit slow, kind of chunky (relatively speaking), and hails from a Midwestern college? Sounds like a Jim Kleinsasser-tight end if I ever saw one. Hummel is good for an occasional catch and shoot 3-pointer, and that's what he'd be good as in the NFL; a three-yard dump off pass three times a year. Write it down in pen.
ALEXEY SHVED: Punter. Maybe.
GORGUI DIENG: He would need to put on a good 40-50 pounds, but Dieng and his long arms would be pretty awesome as a left tackle. He'd be like Dhalsim from Street Fighter, just putting an arm out and not letting defenders get past him. As a shot blocker, he's probably use to that. Of course, he'd get a ton of holding penalties and flags called on him, just like in real life too!
AJ PRICE: Eh, I don't know. Maybe a Moe Williams type of running back? The 3rd back on the roster, ala Asiata? A human victory cigar? I could see that.
DANTE CUNNINGHAM: With his bigger size and ability to play multiple positions, Dante could be that swing player on the offensive line. He's not bulky enough to be a guard really, he'd have to put on some weight, but there aren't really any players in the NBA who have that NFL-offensive linemen size outside of Glen Davis and Shaq. But Dante is shifty enough to be a swing guard or right tackle in a pinch.
LUC RICHARD MBAH A MOUTE: With his poor hands, lack of offensive prowess, but stellar nose for defense, Mbah a Moute would be a great safety for this NBA-NFL team. He won't be an Ed Reed player with tons of pick-sixes or anything, but if he can lay a hit like Harrison Smith, that'd be good enough.
JJ BAREA: Small, pestering, and quick around bigger guys' legs in a non-sexual way? Call JJ Danny Woodhead or Darren Sproles or any other small, quick running back you can think of. It might be a better role for JJ than his current one right now.
SHABAZZ MUHAMMAD: Suppose to be a scorer, but isn't really. Has decent size, but doesn't know how to use it great. Has good hands on offensive rebounds. He's like a poor man's tight end, kind of playing an important role in the offense like a wide receiver, but is also big enough to be asked to get dirty in the tall trees every once in a while. Again, probably a better actual role for Muhammad than what he's doing in the NBA.
RONNY TURIAF: Crazy-eyed defensive guy with legs that can make him jump off the line? BOOM! DEFENSIVE END! Good bye Jared Allen, Turiaf is taking your spot.
You know, this doesn't sound half bad. I bet this team would finish the NFL season with AT LEAST an 8-8 record. .500 ball! How familiar!