Over the past week, the Minnesota Vikings cheerleaders have been having their open tryouts to see who will get to join the squad for the upcoming season. Will the cheerleader additions offer more quality impact than the additions to the team?! That remains to be seen. Maybe. Possibly, even. I wouldn’t be surprised. BUT, if we know one thing about Vikings cheerleader tryouts, it’s that they are, YEAR AFTER YEAR, super, totally sexist. NOT ONCE have they voted to allow a shirtless man to participate in the cheerleading squad, nor have I even ever seen pictures of a shirtless man allowed entry to the auditions. Look at these most recent Vikings Cheerleader audition pictures, and tell me which one of those people are swinging a dick when they get out of the shower. Not a one.
So, why the discrimination? What are the cheerleaders so afraid of? What do they have to lose? Afraid a man from Minnesota may have larger breasts than a Vikings cheerleader? Well … That may actually happen, through no fault of any lady’s own. And … Well, yeah, no one wants to see that. I think we’d all agree that the absolute best compromise would be to just have like, a single day out of their tryouts, where they invite the shirtless men from the football squad to do some jumps and dance moves. You could pay regular season ticket pricing for general admission to that. Would just kill, I promise.
Anyway … Here’s some pictures of the Vikings cheerleader tryouts where we photoshopped random things into the image. No disrespect meant, just … It’s just photoshop. Done poorly. Enjoy?