The foretold second coming of Jesus Christ has already occurred. His name is Adrian Peterson, aka Purple Jesus, and He is a Minnesota Viking, which is so fucking awesome for Vikings fans. He’s also a surprisingly big fan of Wasswa Serwanga.

Got a question for the Purple Jesus? Shoot him an e-mail at purplejesusdiaries at gmail dot com (purplejesusdiaries@gmail.com) . Ask him about the team, players you’d like further insight on, or your own sexual infidelity. He already knows all about it, so let’s just air it out, shall we?

Also, we’re about 95% certain that this is a 100% fictitious blog.