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Purple Jesus Diaries Masturbatory Preseason Week 3 Preview: Just Start Teddy Already

Week three of the preseason, the Minnesota Vikings are undefeated, and Teddy Bridgewater is pretty much the best quarterback ever in the history of the NFL. So why isn’t he starting already? Well, truthfully, it’s because Matt Cassel’s wife has been coaching her husband up really well this offseason, and he’s performed strongly because of […]

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“Teddy Two Minutes” Isn’t Actually a Great Nickname

Whether it’s GUMP, Touchdown Teddy, or “Franchise Savior”, the new Minnesota Vikings quarterback has plenty of nicknames. Apparently when you’re a exciting, young, and strongly performing player, everyone wants to come up with a catchy name for you. Include Cordarrelle Patterson. Except … Except for when he calls you “Teddy Two Minutes.” On one hand, […]


Oh Man Do I Love Randy Moss

Admittedly, things are kind of exciting for the Minnesota Vikings right now. Brad Childress is a distant nightmare, Christian Ponder is a fading depantsing from your childhood, and Teddy Bridgewater makes me feel things I haven’t felt since I rubbed against a body pillow as a young boy. Things are actually looking up for fans […]

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Jerome Simpson Faces 3-Game Suspension, Has Time Planned Out Already

Jerome Simpson has a bit of a troubled past. The Minnesota Vikings receiver is in the process of appealing a possible three game suspension from the NFL thanks to a 2013 arrest in which he plead guilty to reckless driving and failure to submit to a chemical test. Basically, he got a DUI and didn’t […]

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PJD’s Preseason Week 2 Recap: The Future is Now

I just want to make something very obvious here to start. What we saw on Saturday night was a preseason game. The way the game fell, particularly at the end of the game, we ended up seeing the Vikings second stringers (who needed more time together because they only had like half the third quarter […]

Vikings Training Camp Access: Final Wrap-Up

While returning from a vacation down south, I couldn’t help myself in wandering back over to Vikings Training Camp for the final day in Mankato. Thursday was deemed “Fan Appreciation Day,” by the team. Halfway through the afternoon session, and an hour into the team practicing on the far-side field… I began wondering how much […]

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Who is the Minnesota Vikings’ Bridewater?

This past offseason for the Minnesota Vikings was certainly one of change. From former head coach Leslie Frazier being let go, along with almost his entire staff, to veteran players like Kevin Williams and Jared Allen freely walking in free agency, there has been a bit of an open, rotating door at Winter Park. As […]

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Point / Counterpoint: Linval Joseph Got Shot in the Leg

In a frightening piece of news released early Saturday morning after the Minnesota Vikings had won their first preseason game of the 2014 season, it was announced Vikings defensive tackle Linval Joseph was shot in the calf following an incident outside a nightclub Friday night. Joseph has been identified as an innocent bystander in the […]

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PJD’s Preseason Week 1 Recap: A Defensive Revelation

I mean, let’s not get ahead of ourselves, right? The Vikings defense did give up 182 passing yards, 268 total yards, and 4.4 yards per play to the Raiders offense on Friday night. The Vikings, to counter those numbers and put some of this in perspective, threw for 109 yards, had 236 total yards, and […]

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Game Thread: Raiders vs. Vikings, Preseason Game 1

AW YISSSS. FOOTBAWL IS BACK. The Raiders visit Minnesota during a warm period of the year so they don’t feel terrible in the cold for preseason game number one. It’s a rematch of Super Bowl XI, because that’s what everyone is going to say even though it’s actually nothing like that, but here we are. […]

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Captain Munnerlyn – “Miracle Baby” – Avoids Another Disaster

Captain Munnerlyn doesn’t officially know if he has a nickname or not. Captain Cum-Back, Captain Money, Captain Crunch, Skipper … All are potential nicknames for the newer Vikings cornerback, but none of them adequately capture the tough circumstances Munnerlyn has found himself throughout his entire life. That’s why he instead goes by “Miracle Baby.” You […]

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Brandon Marshall Must Be Joking that Cutler Can Win MVP

Preseason football is a great time for everyone. Training camp has started, preseason games are getting ready for this weekend, and everyone’s record is 0-0. No one sucks! No one has thrown an interception! No one has officially been declared roster dead weight yet, PONDER, and everyone thinks anyone can be a special player this […]

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Vikings Cheerleaders GET TO DA CHOPPA!!!

Training camp is in full swing, with several practices and scrimmages already occurring to everyone’s delight. But it’s not just the players who are getting prepped for the season. No way, the Minnesota Vikings Cheerleaders are at it too. And if you think that their preparations for the season are as simple as learning which […]