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Oh Look, People Are Asking “Is Aaron Rodgers Gay?” Again

There have already been years of speculation about whether Green Bay Packers quarterback Aaron Rodgers is gay or not. He's talked about how much he loves man-ass before, shared big, white loads in the face of his teammates, and has even starred in erotic fan fiction, but has never once "came out of the locker […]

thank god metrodome final 2013

PJD’s Game 16 Recap: Ending With a Resounding Fart Noise

Finishing With a Turd Squeaker What a spectacular way to finish a craptacular season. The Minnesota Vikings, eliminated from playoff contention in week two this year, faced the Detroit Lions, a team who somehow became more disappointing than the Vikings this year, even, in the last game ever to be played at the "storied" Metrodome. […]

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Merry Christmas 2013 from Adrian Peterson and Purple Jesus Diaries

Once again, I share with my favorite five readers my most enjoyable photoshop I've ever done, all so I can wish you merry souls a Merry Christmas. NO CHANUKAH LOVE THOUGH. Just kidding, I don't care. Anyway, once again, we want to wish anyone who accidentally comes across and reads this blog today that we […]

leslie frazier bengals 2013

PJD’s Game 15 Recap: Monkeys Herding Vikings

Monkeys Herding Vikings Heading into halftime, the Vikings were *only* down 28-7 to the 10-5 Bengals. They had a chance! Maybe we can come back! It'll be sweet! We will make half time adjustments! We got them right where we want them! But then The Bengals scored four more unanswered touchdowns and it was pretty […]

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Masturbatory Game 15 Preview: It’s Cassel Time!

It's Cassel Time! Well, OK, it was actually kind of Cassel time last week, and it was probably the one time this year we'll see GOOD Cassel time (where he throws more touchdowns than interceptions, mind you), but hey! It could happen again! The biggest part about heading into a game like the Vikings are […]

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Greg Jennings Made His Choice At Quarterback; Have You?

If I were to tell you that the Minnesota Vikings quarterback situation was a butt fumble of a mess in 2013, I don't think anyone would argue with me. From the time training camp started, we all understood this was going to be a make-or-break year for Christian Ponder, who was pretty much gifted the […]

daunte culpepper vikings

Daunte Culpepper Got His Roll On One Last Time

It seems like only yesterday the Minnesota Vikings had a Jedi Master on their roster. Then Randy Moss got traded, Nate Burleson broke his legs and went to Seattle, and gruesome knee injuries scarred Vikings fans for life before Purple Jesus healed our fears. We refer to that period as the "Daunte Culpepper Years", and […]

leslie frazier fired

WAIT, WAT? Bill O’Brien to be Next Minnesota Vikings Coach?

What if I told you that the 2013 Minnesota Vikings miraculously winning a football game on Sunday wasn't even the biggest news about the team that day? Your jaw would drop on the floor, right? Because how could a win from a team this bad NOT be the headliner of the day? Well, lost amongst […]

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PJD’s Game 14 Recap: The Last Metrodome Win?

Blow the Place Up Seriously, call it a day. Forfeit the rest of the season (or at least the final game of the season at home against the Lions), and call it the end of the era, because I don't know if the Vikings will ever be able to that win in the Metrodome. In […]

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Need a Quarterback? Why Not Cutler?

I know, crazy right? But hear me out. Maybe. So, for some odd reason, the Chicago Bears seem inclined to let their quarterback, Jay Cutler, walk in the offseason. Cutler, the meme-made, chain-smoking, not-caring gun slinger of the Midway, is apparently a free agent after this season. The Bears haven't had discussions with him to […]

adrian peterson christmas tree

How to Properly Dress Your Vikings Christmas Tree

If last week's game against the Ravens didn't alert you to it, yes, the holidays are right around the corner. When you see every single football game along the east coast blanketed in snow, it's probably also a good time to begin (or finish?) shopping for Christmas presents, decorating your house in the ejaculation of […]

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Adrian Peterson to Random Snowballer: “Come Throw for Us”

Minnesota Vikings star running back, Adrian Peterson, had a heck of a day on Sunday. He was going up against a stout Ravens' defense in an oppressive snow fall, and suffered an apparent scary injury during the game. Peterson left the stadium to get an MRI on the injury, and when he returned – out […]

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PJD’s Game 13 Recap: What the Hell Was That?

What in the Absolute Hell What in the hell was that all about? Seriously. With 2:05 left in the game, Joe Flacco through a pass to Dennis Pitta (which kind of sounds like a derogatory name, doesn't it?), and the Ravens went up by 3. I mean, knowing how the game had gone thus far, […]

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Masturbatory Game 13 Preview: The Team That Should Have Been

FINALLY Your Minnesota Vikings You know, it feels like it BARELY took 13 games to get to this point, but this weekend it feels like we're finally getting to see the 2013 Vikings that were supposed to be. We will have a half-way competent quarterback starting in Matt Cassel, Audie Cole playing solid up the […]

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AuDiesel Remains MLB Starter, WTF Was Henderson All About?

Amazingly, the Minnesota Vikings are still game planning. The Vikings went so far as to name certain players as starters for their upcoming game against the Baltimore Ravens. I mean, come on guys. Baltimore? You think you're going to go to Baltimore, go play outside in the cold, against a team performing well against the […]

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